Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize