Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
