dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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