so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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