We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
