Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
