I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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