It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize