Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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