Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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