Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Holy shit dude........stairs
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize