So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
