You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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