Moan for me like Helen Keller
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize