used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
