guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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