Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize