He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
