I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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