Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize