Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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