Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
