all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
