College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
