i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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