On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize