and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm always down for nudity.
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