Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
