Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
