I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
