How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
