I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
