What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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