I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
