Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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