did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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