She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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