Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
