Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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