Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now Iโm flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
I just put together something from IKEA so thatโs mandatory oral for a week.
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