Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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