And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
