i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's no shave November. This is our time.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
