Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
