Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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