Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
