Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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