the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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