I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
