I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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