it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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