I didn't shave. On purpose
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
