Midget sex pt 2 tonight
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize