the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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