I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
