At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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