yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
