I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
