My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
