hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
