It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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