You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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