The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
