Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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