Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
